All of my life I have prayed for the chance to become a
mother. I have been blessed to have a wonderful mother, grandmothers, and other
maternal figures in my life. This dream has been one that I have shed many of
tears over thinking that the day would never come.
On September 7, 2016 I was given that opportunity I have
prayed for. My husband and I took a home pregnancy test and it told us that we
indeed were expecting. After confirming it with the doctor’s office a week
later we began the game that society has taught us. Do we tell our family and
friends or do we keep this joyous news a secret?
For some reason, today’s society thinks that it is very
taboo to speak of being with child prior to the conclusion of your first
trimester. Yet, we have modern medicine to help us know that we are expecting
and research to show that you should start prenatal visits earlier in your
pregnancy. By society standards this means that we are supposed to keep our family
and friends in the dark about why we are going to the doctor so much the first
1/3 of our pregnancy. We are not
supposed to speak of the morning sickness, or the change in our moods, or the
weird things that happen with our bodies. Why is this, because of the fear that
something may happen?
I am here to say, that sometimes things do happen, and when
they do, is it better to suffer in silence or to have a support system? On
September 28, 2016 the doctor confirmed our worst fears, we miscarried. I have
learned that there are approximately 5,000,000 miscarriages in a single year.
We lost what God had granted us, but did we really? You see
I am an Orthodox Christian and what I discovered was how wonderful our faith is
in these times. We believe that a baby has life at the time of conception. I
became a mother the minute that baby started developing, and even though our
baby did not get to enter this world like we had hoped, our baby is now in
heaven being raised by Mary, what better mother is there? In the Orthodox church we offer communion anytime
we have divine liturgy. Since that is at least every Sunday, through me, my
baby received the body and blood of Jesus Christ the Sunday before he went to
be with our Lord and Savior.
Not only were these blessing granted to us, and many others,
but because I shared our pregnancy with our priest, when we did miscarry, we
were able to go to the church and have the priest say the forgiveness prayer
for us. This prayer was one of the most beautiful prayers that I have heard. It
is a prayer to help protect me as mom from the devil and his trickery of trying
to break you down and make you think that you did something wrong. This prayer
is something that I feel any woman who has gone through a miscarriage should
speak with her priest about.
Had I not shared about our pregnancy, then I would not have
been inclined to share about our miscarriage. Those that have known about it
have prayed for us, and we have received blessings through it. Why would you
not share in the joy and heartache that is life. My physical and emotional pain
was no greater and no less because of telling someone that we were expecting.
When the time comes that we see those blue lines again, I have a feeling that
we will share just as quickly as we did this time.
I pray that more women, if they feel so inclined, share their
great blessings with those in their lives. That they don’t let society dictate
how they live their life as an expecting mom. It is ok to feel heartache, but
know that God is showing you blessings at the same time. My husband and I are
closer because of this, we know that we can conceive, and that I am now a
mother.
Glory to God for showing us so many beautiful things, even
through heartache!
No comments:
Post a Comment